Monday, November 28, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Conspiracy Theory of Thermodynamics"

The government is after Raj again now that he inadvertently revealed to the gang and the Escape the Room staff that the government used him to commit an act of terrorism against the hospital as some sort of false flag attack. Howard, Sheldon, and Leonard work on a rocket to send Raj to space while Cousin Leroy helps him evade the CIA in a high speed chase. Penny and Amy take a shopping trip downtown, but can’t find a place to park! Cousin Leroy is forced to make a tough choice that will change the fate of Raj and the gang forever.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Escape Velocity"

A power outage wreaks havoc as the Big Bang Gang™ gets trapped in an Escape the Room puzzle. With no computers to hack or technology to exploit, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and the newly rediscovered Raj have to work together to solve the puzzle the old-fashioned way, while also trying to solve the puzzle of where Raj has been the last few months. Penny and Amy have a girls night out that turns into a ghouls night out as they accidentally raise the dead by spilling toxic waste on an ancient Indian burial ground. Cousin Leroy gets a lesson in responsibility as he must babysit his baby nephew. 

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The In-Laws of Attraction"

Things get a little chaotic for the Bing Bangers. Leonard, Howard, and Sheldon are competing in a Halo tournament to rule them all… until Leonard gets an unsuspecting call from Penny. Her parents are coming to town, and she hasn’t told them that she and Leonard are currently separated! Now Leonard must fake a healthy relationship with his estranged wife while also trying to compete for the golden Spartan helmet across town. Meanwhile, Penny struggles to keep Raj hidden in the crawl space and keep Cousin Leroy from revealing their current fling to her parents.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Theory of Electoral Selection"

Sheldon wakes up from his coma just in time for the election… of the United Trekkers of America, Local Chapter 1094. Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard struggle to choose between a spray-tanned loudmouth who doesn’t seem to have ever watched Star Trek, but properly hates the unpopular films of the franchise, and a pragmatic woman with a binder full of convention plans and specifics, but is kind of cold and flip flops on whether or not she likes Voyager depending on who she’s talking to. Meanwhile, Cousin Leroy and Penny win a free ride on the Goodyear blimp. When the pilot chokes on a piece of gum he received from Penny, it’s up to Cousin Leroy to land the airship. Raj shaves his beard in the crawl space where Penny has hidden him.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Sleep Study"

Sheldon’s coma dreams turn to nightmares as he imagines being stuck at a convention where Wil Wheaton steals his idea for a new superhero comic: The Caped Bazinga!. Meanwhile in the real universe, a bomb goes off in the hospital, trapping him in the burning building. Howard regrets murdering his wife, which leads him to try online dating. 1990s-style gay panic ensues when the dating app matches him up with Leonard! Cousin Leroy hears about the terrorist attack and decides it’s up to him to save Sheldon from certain death. A disheveled Raj shows up at Penny’s door and asks her to hide him.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Large Hadron Collision"

In this Very Special Episode, The Big Bang Gang™ is celebrating Howard’s court victory by riding in the four sidecars of Cousin Leroy’s motorcycle when suddenly Sheldon’s breaks loose and careens down the hill. Hilarity ensues as he swerves to avoid various obstacles until a semi truck BAZINGAs into him. Leonard struggles to tell Amy—who was not, in fact, killed by Howard—that her ex-boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and is now in a coma. Amy imagines what life would be like without Sheldon while waiting at his bedside in the hospital.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Law of Order"

The police arrive shortly after the Big Bang Gang™ pulls off the mask of Howard’s dead mother to reveal that it was actually just Howard wearing his mother’s skin, and not actually a reanimated corpse. Howard is arrested for the murder of the dozens of people found in the cellar. The Sheldon and Leonard build Howard a robotic lawyer, but encounter some issues when the latest version of Windows causes some of its drivers to malfunction. Penny reminds the TV audience that she’s the dumb one and that these guys she hangs out with are total nerds. Cousin Leroy busts through the wall of the courthouse and challenges the judge to a surf off to determine Howard’s fate. Will Cousin Leroy pull off some sick moves, or will Howard have to pay for his crimes against humanity?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Spectral Inheritance Principle"

Howard inherits a mansion from his rich uncle under the condition that he stay there for the whole night. Did we mention that the house is haunted? The rest of the gang agrees to stay the night with him in order to disprove the existence of spooky scary ghosts. The Big Bang Gang™ splits into groups to investigate the paranormal happenings. Sheldon and Leonard eat a comically large sandwich then hide in a vase after Howard’s dead mother chases them through the non-euclidian upstairs hallway. Penny and Cousin Leroy fall through a trap door into a cellar full of corpses. Howard is mysteriously absent throughout most of the episode. 

Monday, September 19, 2016

Mr. Robot, "eps2.10_c0rp0rat10ns-man.mp4"

Elliot struggles to fit in with society, burying his face in a black hoodie while creepily staring at people on the subway. Realistic hacking showcasing an actual command line terminal are displayed as the show’s writers confuse plot twists with story and character development. The camera pans around to show creator Sam Esmail who proceeds to shout, “WAKE UP SHEEPLE! IT’S THE CORPORATIONS MAN!” while cashing a check written out to him by the corporations, man.

Friday, September 2, 2016

American Horror Story: Spooky Scary…uh, Boarding School, "Bonestorm!"

Strong female leads stand around waiting for Ryan Murphy to give them something to do as vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, murderers, perverts, drug dealers, different murderers, ghosts, ghost murderers, exorcists, math teachers, and psychic alien witches show up and do nothing to impact the season’s story arc.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Big Bang Theory, “The Snowy Crystallization”

Plans to attend Dragon Con get put on ice as Cousin Leroy and Penny convince the gang to instead hit the slopes. Leonard tries to impress Cousin Leroy by pretending he’s an expert skier, which leads to a horrible accident causing him to spend the rest of the trip in a full-body cast at the ski lodge. Howard scores a date with a woman he met on the ski lift. Sheldon says “Bazinga" a bunch of times while the laugh track drones on. Penny and Cousin Leroy hit it off while tearing up the mountain. Howard cuts the trip short after his date goes missing.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Big Bang Theory, “The Free Market Socialization”

An ordinary trip to the mall gets a little wacky when the group goes their separate ways. Trying to impress Cousin Leroy, Leonard agrees to get a matching tattoo. Afraid of needles, Sheldon decides to hit up the arcade where he causes a ruckus over the Star Trek: The Next Generation Pinball machine’s continuity errors. At the food court, Penny tries to convince Howard to ask out the young woman at the cookie store. Amy’s mysterious absence from work causes the police to begin an investigation. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Big Bang Theory, “The Fizzy Lifting Launch”

Things get a little sticky when Howard helps Amy dispose of a crate of surplus monkeys by sending the beasts to space using his new rocket powered by Diet Cola and Mentos. Sheldon and Leonard enlist the help of Raj’s cousin Leroy to track down a copy of ET for the Atari 2600 in the desert. Penny goes on a blind date with the Ghost of Albert Einstein, but confuses him for “Weird Al” Yankovic. Raj ponders his existence in a dark cell between rounds of torture.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Big Bang Theory, “The Dual Interrogationing”

Things get a little rough for Raj when the TSA decides to turn him over to the Department of Homeland Security. Before taking him to Gitmo, they grant his request to call Leonard to clear this whole thing up. Sheldon hangs up Leonard’s phone when Penny reveals that she likes the Star Wars prequels better than the original trilogy. Sheldon and Leonard use “enhanced” interrogation on Penny while the government uses actual enhanced interrogation against Raj—further eroding away his rights. Howard attempts to grow a beard with wacky results.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Big Bang Theory, "The Hawaiian Vacationing"

The group decides to unwind with a trip to Hawaii, but not before trouble finds them first! Raj is stopped by airport security when they confuse him for a suspected terrorist. Sheldon must face his fear of public toilets when he gets a case of the “runs” during his long flight. Leonard and Penny get mixed up in a volcano cult sacrifice, while Howard discovers that his mom tagged along for the trip.


Greetings. This new blog is your guide to the wonderful new Big Bang Theory episodes that exist solely within the confines of my brain. If I get bored enough, I may expand some of these summaries into full on scripts. That's all. Cheers!